Disclaimer: The characters of Xena & Gabrielle don't belong to me. They are the sole property of MCA/Universal and
Renaissance Pictures. I just borrowed their hearts and souls. :) This story may not be sold or used for profit. Copies of this
story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers.

Sex: This is the story of two soulmates who are very much in love (but there is nothing graphic). They also happen to both be women. If this bothers you, you're underage or it is illegal where you are then please find something else to read.

Language: mild

Violence: There is mention of alcohol and verbal abuse but nothing graphic.

This is a sequel to my story Souls Intertwined. It's not really necessary to read that first, but it may help to fully understand these women's lives.

Feedback is very much appreciated and can be sent to xgfan1@aol.com.
 
 

A Troubled Soul

by Taiko




Robin stormed out of the apartment. Her day had gone from bad to worse.

‘Relationships! Why do I bother?’ she thought as she headed down the stairs.

Things had been good. No, better than good. For the first time in her life Robin had been truly happy. Why was it that when things were looking up the bottom always dropped out from under her? Robin felt like the world was against her.

Robin never had a stable, long-lasting relationship, whether with a man or a woman. In her youth, her relationships with men always ended in disaster. When she finally realized she was gay, at the age of twenty-four, she thought things would be better.

She was always attracted to women. When Robin was a teenager, on the streets, she had a couple of one-night stands with women. At the time, she figured it was life on the streets. You did what you had to do. It was not until years later that she realized she wanted to be with a woman. Not just one night but always. But even then, it always went bad.

Robin had grown up quickly on the streets and never trusted anyone. When she finally got her life in order, the hardest thing for her was opening up to people. The walls had been built and no one could break through. That is until Jess. But there were walls that even Jess hadn’t broken through. Some that Robin didn’t even know excisted.

Jess had re-entered her life six months ago. ‘God, has it been six months?’ she thought. Her mind traveled back to the day Jess moved in with her.

The tall, dark-haired woman walked out of the apartment building onto the city street, lost in thought.

***

Robin walked in to the apartment huffing and puffing. “Man, Jess, what have you got in here?” She said as she put the box she was carrying down on the coffee table.

Jess turned and grinned at her, “My novel.” The small blond said, turning back to the project at hand. She was unpacking her books and placing them on the bookshelf.

“Your novel?” Robin sighed, plopping onto the couch. “What are you writing, War and Peace?” The younger woman laughed at the comment. Yes, it was true, her novel was in the box, on computer disks, and so was her notepads, stapler, CD-ROMS, and assorted other materials from her desk.

“Are you sure you don’t mind me taking over your apartment like this?” Jess asked as she turned her head to look at her lover. Robin’s apartment was sparsely furnished and she had very little in the way of personal items. Jess on the other hand, not only had enough furniture to fill a one-bedroom apartment but she also had collected twenty-six years worth of personal belongings.

Robin got up from the couch and walked up behind Jess, wrapping her arms around the younger woman’s waist. Jess leaned back into the embrace. Robin kissed the top of her head. “This is your apartment too. You can do whatever you like.” “Are you sure?” came the almost whispered reply. “Yes!” Robin stated, turning Jess around in her arms. “I told you when I asked you to move in, what’s mine is yours. That means this apartment, the furniture, the walls, the ceiling…” She was cut off by Jess’ laugh and the placement of her hand over the taller woman’s mouth. “I get the picture.” She smiled up at her love. “Oh, and the pictures too.” Robin added quickly then cut off the younger woman’s response with a kiss.

Their lips slowly parted and Robin caressed her girlfriend’s cheek, as they gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. “Are there anymore boxes?” Jess asked, never breaking eye contact. “Just a few.” Robin half-whispered as she ran her fingers through the long, blond hair of the woman whom had become her entire world. Jess responded breathlessly, “They can wait.”

***

The apartment was dark. Jess didn’t bother turning on a light. She needed the darkness at the moment. Thinking of her love and the first night in their apartment, brought a tear to her eye. As a single tear rolled down her cheek she thought of the events earlier that evening.

Jess arrived home to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen.

“Smells good.” She said as she walked into the kitchen. It was then that she noticed Robin wasn’t in the best of moods. In fact it would be safe to say she was very ticked off. Cabinets were banging, pots and pans were clanging. “Hon, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” came the heated reply. “I’m fine. Everything is wonderful.”

Jess didn’t say a word. Robin took a deep breath and turned to face her love. “I’m sorry. I had a really bad day.”

“I can see that. Do you want to talk about it?”

Robin saw the worry in those sea-green eyes and forced herself to calm down. “No, maybe later. Dinner is almost ready. Why don’t you go get changed.” She tried her best to give a reassuring smile.

“Okay. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Dinner passed without incident. They made small talk, mainly discussing Jess’ day.

After dinner Jess did the dishes and Robin sat on the couch, trying to relax.

Jess walked over and sat next to Robin. “Ready to talk about it?”

“I lost my job today.” No beating around the bush. That wasn’t Robin’s style. “It may not have been the greatest job, but it paid the bills. Now, I have to try and find something else.”

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. You will find something else. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it? Jess, we have rent due in two weeks, my credit card is maxed, the phone bill is due…”

“I’ll take care of it.” Robin narrowed her eyes. “I can afford it Robin. It’s not a problem. Until you find another job…” “No!” Robin stood up and started pacing. “I’m not going to live off of your money. No. It’s not going to happen. I’ll go out tomorrow and I’ll find work.”

Jess was taken aback. She really did make plenty of money. With her job at the publishing company she could afford this apartment on her own. “Hon, I’m just saying that until you do find something it’s okay.”

“No it’s not okay, Jess! I don’t have a fancy college degree and a fancy job!” Robin was having trouble controlling her temper. “I bust my ass for a measly salary. Ten years in the same job and they have the nerve to lay me off!”

Jess sat wide-eyed watching Robin gradually losing control. All she wanted to do was help reassure her that everything would work out. “Robin, sweetie…” Big mistake. Jess knew it the moment she started to speak.

“Don’t sweetie me.” Robin stopped pacing, turned and stared at Jess. Ice blue eyes bore into Jess’ soul. “You think you’re so high and mighty. I know you can afford this place and all the extra bills just fine without my help but there is no way in hell I’m going to let you take care of me, like I was some low-life mooch who can’t get a job.”

Jess was shocked, hurt and beginning to get angry herself. “That is not what I said!” She stood and stared back at Robin, daring her to interrupt. “All I said was until you get a job, I can handle the bills. I never once called you a low-life mooch and I would never even think to call you that!” Her anger surfaced and by the time she finished she found that she was yelling.

Robin felt her blood boiling. She didn’t fully hear what Jess was saying. All she knew was that she had to get out of there before she did something she would surely regret.

Jess watched as Robin stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Slowly Jess’ heartbeat returned to normal and she sank back into the couch. Lifting her feet up onto the sofa, Jess hugged her legs against her chest and stared at nothing.

She was in that same position twenty minutes later. She couldn’t take the silence or the darkness anymore. Jess got up, grabbed her jacket and headed out after Robin.

***

Robin hated the thought of being taken care of. Even when she was on the streets she always tried to take care of herself. It may not have always been legal, but she never put herself in a position that she didn’t feel she had some control over.

As she walked back to the apartment, Robin realized that if the situation were reversed she would have said the same things that Jess had said. She wouldn’t have a problem taking care of the finances until Jess found a job. She loved her and was more than willing to take care of her in any way that she could. So, what was so different? ‘Jess didn’t lose her job, I did.’

‘Why do I have a problem with that?’ She thought of all the things she said to Jess. Robin shook her head, berating herself. ‘Jess would never think I’m a low-life or that I was sponging off her.’ Her father was a different story.

Robin’s father had been an alcoholic and abusive. He had always told Robin that she was useless and would always need someone to take care of her. Young Robin vowed no one would ever take care of her. She’d make it on her own. And she did.

The realization hit Robin with such force, it stopped her in her tracks. Even now, after being away from her father for seventeen years, his hurtful words were still effecting her.

‘That bastard. I will not let his hatred ruin what I have with Jess.’ Robin headed once again for the apartment. This time with bigger strides. She had to apologize to Jess. ‘Hell, it won’t take long to find another job. Two weeks, maybe. And even if it’s longer, so what?’

***

Jess headed down the stairs, into the lobby, out the door and right into Robin. They both stopped just inches away from bumping into one another.

Robin took a step back. “Hi.” She spoke softly to the woman she loved.

“Hi yourself.” Jess said just as softly.

The two realized they were still standing in the doorway. Robin backed up further and Jess walked outside.

Robin couldn’t look Jess in the eye. She studied the ground under her feet. “Are you okay?” Robin heard the words and looked up. Blue eyes met green. “Jess, I am so sorry. I should never have taken my frustration out on you.”

“It’s okay.” Sea-green eyes wandered down to the sidewalk. “No. No, it’s not okay. I said some things…” Robin couldn’t find the words to finish. Jess looked up into her love's eyes and saw regret. Whatever hurt and anger she had been feeling melted away. “I understand. You were angry.” “It’s more than that.” Robin began.

The two soulmates walked side by side down the street as Robin explained her revelation of where her anger stemmed from. They walked and talked until they had gone completely around the block and were back in front of their apartment building.

The couple entered their apartment and Robin turned on the light. Jess hung their jackets in the closet and walked over to Robin. She put her arms around her soulmate and smiled as the hug was returned.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”
***
10 Days Later

Robin came bouncing into the apartment, with a big grin on her face. Jess was sitting at the kitchen table studying the screen on her laptop. Hearing her lover enter the room, she looked up. From the grin on Robin’s face, Jess knew the news was good.

“You got it?” she asked.

“I got it!” Robin swept Jess up to her feet and into her arms. Lifting Jess off the ground, Robin spun around in circles until they were both dizzy and laughing.

“I knew you would.” Jess said once their laughter died down.

“Oh, you did huh?” Robin teased, tickling Jess until she got a playful slap on her arm.

“Stop that!” Jess giggled. “Yes, I did. I never doubted it.”

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

Jess seriously contemplated the question. Robin’s eyebrow shot up as she watched her lover. A grin began to form on Jess’ mouth. “Yes you have, but I never get tired of hearing it.”

“Well, in that case, I love you so much. You are the other half of my soul and I couldn’t imagine life without you.” Robin leaned in and kissed her soulmate.

The kiss left Jess breathless. She vaguely heard Robin ask if her work could wait until later.

“Yes, um, yes it can wait.”

“Good.” Robin said seductively. She took Jess’ hand and led the way to the bedroom.
 

The End (maybe *grin*)



I'd like to thank everyone who wrote to me about my first story, Souls Intertwined. I really appreciate all the feedback. :)

I also want to thank CAS, Ambrosia and XenitBiker, for all their help and encouragement. I couldn't have done it without you guys. :)



Taiko's Scrolls Of The Xenaverse