Sex: hardly any to speak of, but this filk does contain some innuendo and assumes that our girls are more than just friends. If this bothers you, please read something else.
Feedback is very welcome. E-mail me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Also, if anyone with more musical skill than I wishes to perform this (hint,
hint) let me know and send me a tape. I'd have done it myself, but
my singing voice... well, if it had been me singing Gabby's ditty in "Fins,
Femmes, and Gems," the fish wouldn't just have been armed-- they'd have
committed suicide. <g>
(to the tune of the Kinks' "Lola")
by Purple Pen
I met her at a brawl down Potedia way
Where the girls stay home and I was engaged
To young Perdicus. Purty-purty-nerdy Perdicus...
I was being kidnapped so I punched out a guy
She came to my aid with a mighty war cry
Oh, my Xena.
Well, I'm not the world's most physical chick,
But I'd never seen legs with quite so much kick
As on Xena. Ai-yi-yi-yi Xena...
And I'm not dumb but I was mystified
To see her fly 'round that pole and vault high in the sky
Oh, my Xena
Airborne, tumbling Xena...
Well, I didn't understand but still I did know
That I'd follow her wherever she'd go
And then one night, when I met her eyes,
I felt like lightning had cracked open the sky...
Well, I'm not the world's most passionate bard,
But though I stayed off of Argo, I still fell real hard
For my Xena.
Lovely leather-clad Xena...
Raven haired, piercing stared Xena,
Evil scarred, trying hard Xena...
She pushed me away
Said "I can't let you care."
I told her I dared
I got down on my knees,
And I looked at her and she at me...
And that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way
With my Xena. Ai-yi-yi-yi Xena...
Boys will love boys and girls will love girls
Doesn't matter what kind, we need more love in the world
Just ask Xena. My-my-my-my Xena...
Well, I was still a simple country girl at the core
And I'd never ever kissed a woman before.
But Xena smiled, took me by the hand,
Said "Little bard, why do you need a man?"
Well, I can't do a flip without getting a sprain.
But I've learned other skills, and she never complains...
Not my Xena. Ai-yi-yi-yi Xena,
Never flinching, blood-flow pinching Xena...
Xena. Ai-yi-yi-yi Xena,
(repeat and fade)