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What Did I Do To Deserve Your Love?
I'd like to thank Gabby Kat for sharing her poems and allowing me to put them on my site.
:-)
Send comments to GabbyKat1@aol.com .
what did i do to deserve your love?
you look at me, blue eyes from above.
protection and devotion seem to come with ease,
as gentle and quiet as a warm summer's breeze.
the days grow longer forcing the darkness from my mind,
or is it just the knowledge of you so close, so near and kind?
your presence embraces me and cradles my heart
even when the distance of miles keeps us apart.
you've said it is me who brightens your day,
but without you here my muses would cease to play.
you complete me and make me more than i am
the depth of our bond touches me like nothing else can.
the need, the want the desire to be with you
reaches my soul and sets me free to live anew.
it's as pure and true as a snow white dove
i don't know what i did to deserve your love.
gabby kat >^..^<
february 26, 2000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my sunshine
an ache in my heart was healed today
its pain was lifted and carried away
my soul feels lighter knowing you're here
the bond of your friendship i hold dear
to lose it now would tear me apart
it would cause an irreparable broken heart
to be with you i would slow the hands of time
so i could be blessed with you, my sunshine
gabby kat >^..^<
february 15, 2000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
desperate to be free
***
desperate to live
desperate to love, desperate to be free
i believed they were feelings
that would always escape me
i was so evil
so angry, so filled with hate and despair
i thought i was surely lost
my life, my soul beyond repair
but then it happened
the clouds parted, the sun shone down
a light was cast upon me
and dried my sorrow when i thought i'd drown
you were given to me
a gift of love, a gift of life, of innocence and purity
you were meant to heal my soul
and you succeeded with an oracle's clarity
without you now
without your love, without your heart given to me
i would be doomed to live a life
of fretful abandon, always desperate to be free
gabby kat >^..^<
september 8, 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my life began...
***
my life began the day we met
before you appeared
i was angry and alone, full of regret
my evil past should have kept you away
but you followed
from my chosen path you wouldn't stray
i've led you to battle time and again
together we've fought
together we've stood and together we've felt great pain
your life would not have been the same
had i not kept you
from that world of peace, so happy and tame
the guilt i feel for that decision
pierces my heart
with acute and painful precision
but the guilt goes deeper than letting you follow
it burns my heart
drilling my soul and bringing me sorrow
the guilt that brings me such regret...
i'm glad you followed, because
my life began the day we met
gabby kat >^..^<
september 7, 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
your smile will heal
it will ease my pain and allow me to feel
it will comfort my soul
and rescue a life that evil once stole
each day that i rise
i take solace in the smile of your eyes
each day i search your face
for the smile that soothes with a warm embrace
the bond that we share
to risk its loss i would never dare
because to lose your smile
would send my soul into fathomless exile
gabby kat >^..^<
september 7, 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
from the depths of hell you emerged,
a mission caused our paths to converge.
you tried to tempt me
you tried to woo me
from my own mission i wouldn't diverge.
my mission that day was to save a life.
i'd of taken my own at the point of my knife,
if it meant i would win
deny you your sin
when you came to me making your strife.
the life i was to save surprised you and me,
she leapt forward refusing to flee.
she fought with her will
when i couldn't kill
you thought you'd won your quest to be free.
i won't follow you and be His pawn.
our fate is sealed as we rise at dawn,
together we'll die
our souls will fly
you couldn't persuade me no matter your brawn.
my life's path is connected to her,
the image of you shadowed to a blur.
she tried to rescue me
she truly did save me
the love we share no one will deter.
gabby kat >^..^<
august 8, 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
death brings solace
*****
it reassures many who feel lost
life's bewildered souls
the ones who fear their own existence
they beckon its arrival, whatever the cost
there was a time not long ago
when death's wretched grasp
i so desperately longed for and desired
that i would have enticed the poisonous asp
an emptiness had engulfed me
at the sorrowful loss of my child
a death whose blame i focussed on you
the anger and vengeance led me to wild
thank the gods we managed to forgive
your precious friendship was mine again
i promised never to leave you
i know my heart couldn't handle the pain
when our bond was finally mended
you restored my conviction to live
our lives were on different paths
but our friendship, love & trust free to give
fate brought a vision to fruition
i wanted to keep it in my mind's eye
but the cards had been played
hell's spawn was sent to ensure we would die
my race to free you from caesar's hold
met with a burden, the devil's wrath
you should have escaped with your life
but you stayed and diverged your chosen path
together we rose on caesar's cross
tears of friendship chased away the pain
as your life force faded i longed it's embrace
because i knew we would be together again
i rose from my body and called to your soul
the serenity of your smile made everything right
death held us together and comforted us so
our bond would forever ward off the night
*****
death brings solace
gabby kat >^..^<
June 3, 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i died today
i died today when i looked into your eyes
*****
we were beginning to heal wounds so deep
wounds that nearly stole you away
the life we shared almost shattered beyond repair
a hatred erupted, a vengeance engulfed
a distance surrounded us, kept us apart
our hearts were mending, our closeness restored
the fog of confusion retreating with haste
you were the light shining through the darkness
your eyes smiled upon me, your spirit embraced me
together we fought, together we hurt
together we began to heal
i'd of spent my last breath protecting your innocence
your purity melted my heart, it gave my life meaning
the forgiveness we finally shared erased the blame
it eased the pain and brought us together
once reunited we had one last stand
a fight for the greater good, it meant someone had to die
i was prepared to give my life, to leave you one last time
if only to secure your future, allow you to shine
the burden should have been mine to bear
the responsibility, the life, the sacrifice mine to give
the gods stepped in, they darkened your soul
they shifted the burden, gave you a choice
i never doubted your bravery, your reverence for life
you spoke out one last time, defying the gods
the hero within you protected me in the end
the warrior princess, sworn to be your protector
had to bow down and watch you protect
you restored hope to mankind, you saved my life's thread
you embraced pure evil, you snatched it from this world
the grave to which you sent it became your own
when you leapt with evil, entombing it in fire
you glanced back at me as you fell from my grasp
i looked into your eyes as flames consumed, my soul entombed
*****
i died today when i looked into your eyes
a vision released me
a vision released me...
my mind's eye was opened,
to a horrible portend of the future.
the sight of you a mere fracture.
it should have brought me to my knees,
your weakened frame strengthened by a crucifix breeze.
a moment's hesitation showed the soul behind your eyes
was full of pain and anguish and love and life's cries!
the fiery tomb into which you had leapt
was unable to hold you, it's grasp inept.
the insight bestowed upon me strengthened my conviction.
my search for you becoming my new addiction.
the day soon came for a heartfelt embrace,
tears of joy caressed my face.
the relief that surrounded me
nearly forced the vision to flee.
safe and secure we were together again,
our souls uncluttered yearning to be free of pain.
then i remembered the sight of you,
beaten and tattered...such solitude.
it was a vision that meant i wasn't alone,
your presence and soul, not yet flown.
but it also meant something to face.
death's grasp on you a potential embrace.
please realize that i'll fight to save your soul,
the decisions i make will take their toll.
my battle with fate will only end...
when my mind's eye is able to bend
a vision that has not yet released me.
show me the way
we've been on a journey, you and i
you came into my life and showed me the way
my evil ways beckoned me many times
when my soul was tempted, my temper enraged
when the darkness shrouded my essence
you were there and you showed me the way
my growth, my survival, my life's meaning
everything good that i am able to do
has been because of my friendship with you
your tolerance, your kindness, your reverence for life
has blessed my soul from day to day
in times of crisis you've showed me the way
i've come to realize that i am a warrior
it is a part of my essence, my being
it is what makes me who i am
i know it's the mirror opposite of what you've become
perhaps it means we should journey alone
but if we part, who will show me the way?
i don't have the right to ask you to stay
your path of nonviolence has become your way
it is a conflict of ideals, my fights and your will
the life we've made, you deserve so much more
what will become of us, of you and i?
by the gods, i need you to show me the way
you are the single best thing in my life
if you continue your journey, here with me
i swear an oath that each waking day
i will strive to make easier
the pilgrimage upon which you have set
i will help you to realize your way